My family decided that instead of moving, we would just add another 500 square feet to our home. It seemed like a good idea and despite warnings about marital rifts happening during renovations, I decided that wouldn’t happen to us. In fact, my husband had already proven to be a calm source of support when we faced a costly surprise on day one. We discovered that the ceiling wasn’t built quite right and all the wiring was running the wrong way. In short, it would all need to be redone – an unanticipated expense. He didn't even flinch. He just told me to relax and it would all be fine. He didn’t even freak out when they thought we’d need to replace the a/c – the one we HADN’T budgeted for. I had high hopes for us.
Faced with the sudden need to vacate the master suite, the framers and I moved all the furniture on day one and I waited for my husband to move the clothes out of our walk-in. When I thought of how amazing he had been just twenty-four hours earlier, I assumed it would go smoothly. Clearly, I underestimated the evil power of the reno.
I had also conveniently forgotten that my husband and I have very different approaches to moving. I like to establish order and plan it all out first. Baron’s strategy is much less structured. As I was preparing alternative closets, my husband was pulling out clothes and shoes as fast as his hands could fly. And thus began …
Fight #1:
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING????”
“What? I thought you wanted me to move stuff. I’m moving stuff.”
“Noooo! That’s not moving stuff! That’s just throwing stuff!”
“Uh, look around, it doesn’t really matter. We have a mattress and box springs in our kitchen.”
“I have a plan – if you’d just stop – seriously, STOP – why do you keep grabbing stuff? You don’t know where anything goes!”
“It doesn’t GO anywhere. Just move it and we’ll sort it out later …”
I opted for the silent treatment thinking he’d get the message. Instead, he saw it as a green light to throw his skivvies on the big leather chair. I then suggested he stick to moving his clothes and I would proceed to work on my own. After all, I couldn’t help him if he wasn’t going to follow my plan.
Adding to the problem was how the workers chose to cover the top of the closet. Having ripped out the ceiling, they had set a giant piece of plywood across the length of the walk-in as a make-shift roof. It rested precariously on the upper shelving hangers. To get those clothes out, one had to lift the plywood and quickly grab a handful of hangers before the weight of it forced you to drop it all. My husband quickly tired of this course of action and opted to rig the wood at a slight angle to get at the clothes more easily. Unfortunately, I am not so mechanically inclined and when I went to duplicate his move, the entire piece fell on my head while I was holding fistfuls of my best dresses precariously over the sawdust. This precipitated …
Fight#2
“What the $%#@ happened to the plywood?!”
“Just get it off of me!!”
“Let go of the clothes!”
“GET the #*%! PLYWOOD OFF ME!!”
“LET GO OF THE *&%# CLOTHES!!”
This went on for several minutes. With his reluctant help, I freed myself.
“I cannot BELIEVE you just left me like that! I could have DIED!”
“I didn't LEAVE you like that and you were NOT going to die – It hit me on the head too and you don’t hear me complaining.”
At this point, I began to cry. And name call. That’s when my husband decided to try the silent treatment on me. This led us into...
Fight #3
“FINE! Don’t talk to me! You can just do this all by yourself!”
“OK.”
“HEY! Now you’re just throwing things again! Obviously, you CAN’T do it by yourself …”
“Whatever...”
And that’s when he brushed passed me holding two loads of clothes. Starting …
Fight #4
“I CAN NOT believe you just did that!”
“What did I do NOW??”
“You pushed me!”
“I did NOT push you – I didn’t even SEE you!”
“You know what you did …”
“OK. I’m SORRY If I accidently BUMPED INTO YOU!”
“It was a push, but that’s not really why I’m mad.”
“I SAID I was SORRY!”
“You don’t even know why I’m mad!”
“You’re mad because you THINK I pushed you – which I DIDN"T but I said I was sorry anyway and now you won’t even accept my apology!”
“SEE! You do NOT know why I’m mad!”
“I SAID I WAS SORRY!!!”
“If you'd shut up and listen to me, I'll tell you why I'm mad.”
“You shut up.”
“No – You shut up!”
“No – You shut up!”
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!! SHUT UP!!!”
“Wait … isn’t our roof open?”
“Oh *%$!”
Someone told me the neighbors plan to line up lawn chairs along the property line in anticipation for tomorrow night’s show. This could be a long renovation.
